This wasn't planned to be just a year-ending diary note on the calendar year 2023, it wasn't planned at all. 2023 was very unlike other years, the closest relatable year being the year 2000. So quick glance at what happened in the year 2000 first. I decided to return to India for good after having lived in Australia for 5 years, I had paused physically, emotionally, socially, financially, and intellectually. Similar things happened in 2023, but the year 2000 was a game changer for me, I hope the later part of the year is pointing to a changing game, hopefully for the last time in life. Today's blog is about what I did and what I learned or reflected upon in 2023, like a summary of takeaways from 2023. In summary, 2023 was a year of "pause" So here are my notes from my almanac of self-renewal.
#1 - We don't truly understand the "Why" of life, we focus on the "How" of life?
Humans are just what they are programmed to be, a producer and a consumer, a hunter, a gatherer, and survivors. No one lives for anyone, selfishness is a trait we teach every human to survive, we are hardly "social", we are a mob chasing the same goals and that's why we like some people and we don't like some. All Humans have three swimlanes they are swimming in, things they require (survival things, food, shelter, and basic survival), they want to acquire (Houses, cars, and a Pedestal ) and third is desire, this is where things take a back seat and pedestal takes over the chase. The Pedestal is what we call "success". So lets talk about this "Pedestal" now, whether you were pretty, you would want appreciation for that, You stand first in the school race or debate or academics, or you crack a top exam or Ivy League, you are seeking a pedestal, being rich, being famous, being powerful or just popular (like a social media influencer or a TV personality), Pedestal is the CHASE. I heard a Pakistani poet say this, "Duniya to do cheezon ne maar diya, Aah ne aur Waah Ne" (Aah is the curse or also a desire and Waah is the desire to be appreciated and pedestalized) There is a new word these days called "Validation", its often said, oh you seek external validation by doing this and that. So basically someone needs to say, You are on this pedestal !! The fact is as you evolve the day your need for validation becomes Zero and the same is true for lack of "acquire and Desire". Let me say that again, if you are seeking NO Pedestal, of being fit, rich, famous, intelligent, or smart, You are evolved. Even our religious preachers are themselves seeking a pedestal while preaching just the opposite. 10 months it took me to see everyone and everything through this lens of "require" "acquire" and "desire".
I have a weird habit, since childhood I used to read the "obituary" ads in detail and I have always followed "epitaphs" and what was said about people after they are gone. Bishan Singh Bedi passed away a few months ago, I stumbled upon a video that summarizes what I think. It's Bishan's daughter Neha talking about her dad. Bishan Singh Bedi was my kind of Punjabi, Emotional, Sensitive, and Introverted extrovert. He spoke about two pursuits a man must have, Junoon and Sukoon - how profound!
I just kept two things alive, My Junoon (emotions/purpose of life ) and Sukoon (Ghazals/temples and spirituality), to keep my "requirements "low" and most importantly to be constantly cognizant of any pedestal I may be seeking, consciously or subconsciously.
The above paragraph may be just a few words but that took me 10 months to percolate, wake up, and have gratitude (Shukrana), be cognizant of "require", acquire and desire, and above all pedestals.
This one song by Dr Satinder Sartaj kept me going this year, I wish everyone could understand the real meaning and deep connotation, I would have added a translation but trust me, there is NO translation of these emotions ever! The link to that song is here
#3 - Meaning and Purpose are Big words for a simple question - Why Live?
Often complex words in various languages hide the basic, the quintessential question, the simpler the question, the more decluttered the answer will be, lots of Gyaan flies these days on social media about the meaning and purpose of life. My conclusion also took a long route to get to a simple answer that I actually found in a Ghazal one night. First, Imagine, if all mankind tragically disappears from this earth. each one and everyone, what will stay back, rivers, sea, trees, flowers. What's the first thought that comes to your mind when you see or think about a flower? Fragrance? Why do we offer flowers in memories? Flowers are a symbol of Resilience, Flowers endure various conditions and seasons, yet they manage to bloom and grow. They teach us resilience, Another thing, flowers have deep subtleties, they come in a myriad of shapes, sizes, and colors. Each is unique and beautiful in its own way. Another point is limited shelf life - Flowers die soon, they bloom and they die, just like us. Flowers exist fully in the present moment. Learning from flowers, practice acts of kindness and generosity without expecting something in return. The joy is in the giving itself and finally, flowers are the representation of Cycles of Life, Flowers go through cycles of growth, bloom, decline, and rebirth. This cyclical nature teaches us about the transient and impermanent aspects of life.
No wonder, flowers are everywhere, in prayers, in death and in life, in celebrations and in every occasion. In June, on my daughter's 18th birthday, I decided to decorate our apartment with just flowers, Bangalore is blessed with great flower decoration shops. I was waiting in the car at Madiwala Flower Market while the artists created shapes and arrangements of flowers. I stumbled upon this old ghazal.
In 1982 (I was 12 but I heard this Ghazal at 14 ), this ghazal played , i dont know why ....sereendipity is divinity .
फिर छिड़ी रात बात फूलों की, रात है या बरात फूलों की .....Flowers are like good memories , be selective about memories but memories are a treasure.
आप का साथ साथ फूलों का, आप की बात...... बात फूलों की ...Isn't it true, the great company seems flowery and how do flowers ever hurt ....they are sacrificial yet so fragrant...
कौन देता है जान फूलों पर, कौन करता है बात फूलों की ..... We have forgotten how to be flowers .
वो शराफ़त तो दिल के साथ गई , लुट गई काएनात फूलों की .... Innocence lost is everything lost , genuity lost is everything lost ....
अब किसे है दिमाग़-ए-तोहमत-ए-इश्क़, कौन सुनता है बात फूलों की...I was telling my closest buddy that love is a gutsy deed, relationships are easy excuse ....
मेरे दिल में सुरूर-ए-सुब्ह-ए-बहार, तेरी आँखों में रात फूलों की....Dreams are HOPE , Hope is Dream , Keep breathing , Keep living , Keep dreaming ....
फूल के हार फूल के गजरे, शाम फूलों की रात फूलों की ....Flowers take the shape of their beloved , that's what humans need to do , Turn up on every occasion till you live as flower.
मेरे दिल में सुरूर-ए-सुब्ह-ए-बहार, तेरी आँखों में रात फूलों की - Everyone's pursuit and purpose if different like usage of flowers , let it be
फूल खिलते रहेंगे दुनिया में , रोज़ निकलेगी बात फूलों की - Humans will keep coming , you are as inconsequential as yesterday's flower , you die someone else will come and take ur place
ये महकती हुई ग़ज़ल 'मख़दूम' , जैसे सहरा में रात फूलों की ! In the end , did your life bring fragrance to anyone in this world, if yes, you are living a good life !
So Live like a flower! Thats it!
Excerpts from a speech by John Gardner delivered in 1990 to McKinsey & Company, The meaning of life is not something you stumble across, like the answer to a riddle or the prize in a treasure hunt. Meaning is something you build, you create into your life. You build it out of your past, out of your affections and loyalties, out of the experience of humankind, out of your traumas, as they occur to you, out of your own talent and understanding, out of the things you believe in, out of the things and people you love, out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice something. The ingredients are there. You are the only one who can combine them into that unique pattern that will be your life. Let it be a life that has dignity and meaning for you. If it does, then the particular balance of success or failure is of less account.”
That's the net summary of 53.5 years of life, a zillion ghazals, a billion podcasts, and spiritual observations, to me, mankind is as inconsequential as bacteria or yeast that you existed in the bread you had in breakfast, a micron of fungus and bacteria, tied with wheat and heat and water. Imagine the journey of each one. The wheat came from fields after weathering everything, water flowed from glaciers or from beneath the earth's surface and heat. Just realize who you are and why are you here!
So Live like a flower! Thats it!
Toda's ghazal is by Sharayar and sung by Jagjit Singh, one of his last recordings! I sometimes wonder how people lead a "Ghazaless" life!
ज़िन्दगी जैसी तमन्ना थी नहीं कुछ कम है, हर घड़ी होता है एहसास कहीं कुछ कम है !
घर की तामीर तसव्वुर ही में हो सकती है, अपने नक़्शे के मुताबिक ये ज़मीन कुछ कम है !
बिछड़े लोगों से मुलाक़ात कभी फिर होगी, दिल में उम्मीद तो काफ़ी है यक़ीन कुछ कम है !
अब जिधर देखिए लगता है कि इस दुनिया में, कहीं कुछ चीज़ ज़्यादा है, कहीं कुछ कम है !
आज भी है तेरी दूरी ही है उदासी का सबब, ये अलग बात कि पहली सी नहीं कुछ कम है !
Adieu 2023! I survived :)
Comments
Post a Comment