I usually write my blogs in my mind , word by word ,line by line, this one has been in making for a little over a month, finally it might get ejaculated.
Aaina means a mirror and Aks means a reflection. Aaina shows you who you are and aks is the image you see of your real self. This is a weird relationship, you are in real self but what gets projected is your aks. Aks is selfish, we see in our aks what we want to see and we often make the aaina lie . We always see what we choose to see . We are a blessed animal with a strange sense of selective thinking , selective vision and selective listening, we make the aks ....we see a movie and we see ourselves in that , we like movies in which we see an aks of ourselves. We like the music in which the rhythm of our emotions resonate with the rhythm of the sound, that's why when we like same music and we like same music , we think we are alike . NO, we just chase the same Aks.
I hate the aks I have, not just physically but spiritually and emotionally as well. While in some people physical aks may look bad , the aks of the soul is so hateful still they are seen as desirable . I don't chase an aks who i am not , or at least i believe i don't ...we also know our aks , you meet him every day but some live with that i don't ...
No one noticed but Monalisa had no eyebrows . It was the fashion in renaissance to shave them off but no one notices that in her aks .....
अक़्स-ए-ख़ुशबू हूँ, बिखरने से न रोके कोई, और बिखर जाऊँ तो, मुझ को न समेटे कोई!
काँप उठती हूँ मैं सोच कर तन्हाई में, मेरे चेहरे पर तेरा नाम न पढ़ ले कोई!
जिस तरह ख़्वाब हो गए मेरे रेज़ा-रेज़ा, इस तरह से, कभी टूट कर, बिखरे कोई!
काँप उठती हूँ मैं सोच कर तन्हाई में, मेरे चेहरे पर तेरा नाम न पढ़ ले कोई!
जिस तरह ख़्वाब हो गए मेरे रेज़ा-रेज़ा, इस तरह से, कभी टूट कर, बिखरे कोई!
अब तो इस राह से वो शख़्स गुज़रता भी नहीं, अब किस उम्मीद पे दरवाज़े से झाँके कोई!
कोई आहट, कोई आवाज़, कोई छाप नहीं,दिल की गलियाँ बड़ी सुनसान है आए कोई !
कोई आहट, कोई आवाज़, कोई छाप नहीं,दिल की गलियाँ बड़ी सुनसान है आए कोई !
I have had the best moments of my life , sleeping with my radio, one mate i had when i was 15 , i heard every song very carefully and knit the thoughts in my mind. i didn't have a bed, there was an old rajai which became my mattress and a small towel folded to be world's best pillow. next to the rajai was this radio and this room, tucked nicely next to a wall. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. I didn't know this then . I used to dream and dream of a life full of music and shayari and prestige and above all stature. 18 years on I was at the airport I was when I was going away to live my dreams. on June 19th , 1995, i finished my days chores on my bajaj Super , came home to pack and leave for airport in a mark IV taxi . I met lots of people this time who were still running ...chasing same dreams , more aggressively, more ruthlessly , they will win , I lost because i wasn't ruthless, i valued my decisions more than my aks . We choose the morality that suits our ambitions.
A friend recently said, even if i go back , i wont be happy, she was right.I wasn't chasing the mirage anymore.
But i dream and I hope, as hope is the force that makes the world live . 85% of marriages are conducted at place of worship or have God as witness, in Hope .....
Hope is never a strategy and "One is these days" means ""None of these days"" ...still ....
There is a Hindu tradition that after cremating the body and walking out of the morgue, you don't look back at the dead body. You head straight to temple and they are always located at the entrance of mortuaries ..I understand why. Once you are gone , you are gone. You are only worth the conversation on the way back and not even a glance , so why worry about aks.
Today's ghazal is Ahmed faraz classic ....
जो चल सको तो कोई ऐसी चाल चल जाना
मुझे गुमाँ भी ना हो और तुम बदल जाना
ये शोलगी हो बदन की तो क्या किया जाये
सो लाजमी है तेरे पैरहन का जल जाना
तुम्हीं करो कोई दरमाँ, ये वक्त आ पहुँचा
कि अब तो चारागरों का भी हाथ मल जाना
अभी अभी जो जुदाई की शाम आई थी
हमें अजीब लगा ज़िन्दगी का ढल जाना
सजी सजाई हुई मौत ज़िन्दगी तो नहीं
मुअर्रिखों ने मकाबिर को भी महल जाना
ये क्या कि तू भी इसी साअते-जवाल में है
कि जिस तरह है सभी सूरजों को ढल जाना
हर इक इश्क के बाद और उसके इश्क के बाद
फ़राज़ इतना आसाँ भी ना था संभल जाना
शोलगी - अग्नि ज्वाला, मुअर्रिख - इतिहास कार
मकाबिर - कब्र का बहुवचन, साअते-जवाल - ढलान का क्षण
मुझे गुमाँ भी ना हो और तुम बदल जाना
ये शोलगी हो बदन की तो क्या किया जाये
सो लाजमी है तेरे पैरहन का जल जाना
तुम्हीं करो कोई दरमाँ, ये वक्त आ पहुँचा
कि अब तो चारागरों का भी हाथ मल जाना
अभी अभी जो जुदाई की शाम आई थी
हमें अजीब लगा ज़िन्दगी का ढल जाना
सजी सजाई हुई मौत ज़िन्दगी तो नहीं
मुअर्रिखों ने मकाबिर को भी महल जाना
ये क्या कि तू भी इसी साअते-जवाल में है
कि जिस तरह है सभी सूरजों को ढल जाना
हर इक इश्क के बाद और उसके इश्क के बाद
फ़राज़ इतना आसाँ भी ना था संभल जाना
शोलगी - अग्नि ज्वाला, मुअर्रिख - इतिहास कार
मकाबिर - कब्र का बहुवचन, साअते-जवाल - ढलान का क्षण
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