O re Womaniya ....

There have been three topics I have been wanting to write about , First a movie called Special 26, second, Woman's day which was put to propaganda a few days back and third, the News coming from my "Mehboob" city Delhi on rapes and treatment of women in general.

Everyone has a relationship with women in this world, if one is unlucky, just one, his/her mother. My memories about my mother had duality, my mom in person and my mother in my deity. My mother in person was always surrounded by issues of domestic rift and most of her conversations with me , were to motivate me , push me to do more, aim higher and above all leave India to match stature of others in family. My mother in deity was fierce, all powerful and rode a lion, an huge impression for a teenager who hasn't had any exposure with any other woman , weak or strong. The deity will kill, love and forgive in same breath. Women in our society are programmed to be "owned" "occupied" and "used". I have never made peace with concept of changing family names and using father's first name as family name, the sense of identity of me is one name, may be no name. Women are treated are Car registrations, thru form 28, transfer ownership from father to husband, husband to sons and sons will only ensure she makes the last journey to the relevant man she belongs to ...to me that's sickness.

Women spend all their lives trying to be who they are not, they are much a man as feminine a man is . That is an issue a man would like to hide all life , he is told to deny this all life unless you are Karan Johared. This fake bravado and this imposed feminist is what stinks, the love of rituals and bonds imposed by some small minded sick people , makes me sick.  I am sharing 5 incidents , which left an indelible mark on my persona, from women I have been fortunate to know and their deeds which prove that "person" inside them will at most times put to shame the imposed female. Todays post to a salute to the person trapped inside genders, with or without woman's day.

Forgiveness : In the Humid July of 1993, as all Saturdays, we were to meet at 1 PM at coffee home at Bangla sahib road, she had to leave home at 9 , spend time at Bangla sahib till it is 1pm, when my Saturday half day office would be over. We would then spend time sharing a 3 Rs coffee for next 3 hours . As luck was to have it rained at 11 am , like it didn't want to stop ever. Minto bridge underpass was flooded and so were other roads, I left office when no one else was ready to, in the middle of  heavy downpour from Gopala Towers. The 20 min drive became a 3 hour drive due to traffic. In a word void of cell phones, payphones , every passing minute would let me imagine  a 19 yr old sardarni stranded in rain , in an area where she shouldn't be and above all not sure either to wait or to go back. I reached at a few minutes before 4 PM, having assured myself absolutely unconvincingly  that she wont be there. She was peacefully sitting at same place outside coffee home, her body language had no anxiety unlike me , my first reaction was scare, she had been there since 10 am , I walked upto her with a huge anticipation of anger, anguish and frustration. She got up and smiled , the smile that will extinguish all fires, the most forgiving, loving and binding smile , I have ever seen. She was a reflection of my deity for that moment, kill, love and forgive in same breath. "Lunch te Kitta nee hona sheran ne, chalo ..coffee piyen, baarish mein coffee peene chahiye" , she said aligning her dupatta and tying her hair in consecutive moves . I had no answer, no reaction, I was searching for questions , anger, enquiry. We walked inside the café, had coffee or something and for next 45 minutes , I was looking for a question..it never came..... till today. What came was pure bliss of small talk, no reference whatsoever to the wait but discussions of rain, lamhe, upcoming Live show by Jagjit Singh and peace one finds in Gurudwaras in early morning. 

Till today when someone asks for an explanation, argues, asks  question in angry mode, the moment flashes and keeps flashing in front of my eyes with the smiles.

Love has to have divine forgiveness , absolute trust , unquestioned trust.

Other pieces to follow ....to be continued ...Todays song from Special 26.

 

कौन मेरा ..क्या तू लागे ...क्यूँ तू बांधे , मन के मन से धागे ....

ढूँढ ही लोगे मुझे हर जगह तुम ....मुझको खबर है ...हो गया हूँ तेरा जब से मैं हवा मैं हूँ ...तेरा असर है ...

तेरे पास हूँ ...एहसास में...मैं याद में तेरी ...मेरा ठिकाना बन गया अब सांस में तेरी ....