I trust you ...

In last 25 years of my adulthood, the statement "I trust you" has been the one I find most laughable and this comes from all who don't even trust themselves and said to all who they truly deeply mistrust , shall we call that oxymoron ?

Inside me brews a consistent immutable feeling of solitude and I find myself in the "Guilty"  bucket with a non conformist looser written all over me. I don't see relationships as means to Love, i sought love as divinity, as the union of since, depth, acceptance and solitude. the non judgmental acceptance of all my ugliness, dishonesty and lunacies .

Fear-oriented living can never lead you into deep relationship. You remain afraid, and the other cannot be allowed, cannot be allowed to penetrate you to your very core. To an extent you allow the other and then the wall comes and everything stops. The love-oriented person is the religious person. The love-oriented person means one who is not afraid of the future, one who is not afraid of the result and the consequence, who lives here and now. Don't be bothered about the result. That is the fear-oriented mind. Don't think about what will happen out of it.Love is very rare. To meet a person at his center is to pass through a revolution yourself, because if you want to meet a person at his center, you will have to allow that person to reach to your center also. You will have to become vulnerable, absolutely vulnerable, open. It is risky. you need to bare all , emotionally. To allow somebody to reach your center is risky, dangerous, because you never know what that person will do to you. And once all your secrets are known, once your hiddenness has become unhidden, once you are exposed completely, what that other person will do, you never know. The fear is there. That's why we never open.Just acquaintance, and we think that love has happened. Peripheries meet, and we think we have met. You are not your periphery. Really, the periphery is the boundary where you end, just the fencing around you. It is not you! The periphery is the place where you end and the world begins. Even husbands and wives who may have lived together for many years may be just acquaintances. They may not have known each other. And the more you live with someone, the more you forget completely that the centers have remained unknown.So don't take acquaintance as love. You may be making love, you may be sexually related, but sex is also peripheral. Unless centers meet, sex is just a meeting of two bodies. And a meeting of two bodies is not your meeting. Sex also remains acquaintance --physical, bodily, but still acquaintance. You can allow somebody to enter to your center only when you are not afraid, when you are not fearful. So I say to you that there are two types of living. One: fear-oriented; one: love-oriented.

 The society around me is living a life of fear, fear of being seen as failure , fear of dying, fear of loosing jobs , fear of just being judged.

I thought I would live for love ..."galatfehmi" (misconception) is not a crime ...

Today's ghazal, Ahmed Faraz ...

चाही थी दिल ने तुझसे वफ़ा कम ....बहुत ही कम ....शायद इसलिए है गिला कम ...बहुत ही कम ...

हाँ कट चली है उम्र ए गुरेज़ाँ तेरे बगैर ....इतना बड़ा गुनाह ..सजा कम ...बहुत ही कम ....
जलते सुना चराग से दामन हज़ार बार ....दामन से कब चराग जला , कम ..बहुत ही कम ...

 सदियों से यूँ तो है इंसान का वजूद...इंसान हम को कम है मिला ..कम ..बहुत ही कम ...

आजाइए के आप से पहले ना आए मौत ...अब वक़्त रह गया है कम ...बहुत ही कम ...