Dates , events , gestures, expressions, words and people tend to stick in my memories. It has been an unprecedented year on many accounts . More so an unprecedented month.
Last year, same day, I was at Apollo's oncology OPD and the doctors did a day surgery to take out a lump which was suspected to be maliginatic . It was an experience , 7th time i was wheeled in an operation theatre , and the local anesthesia ran out of its effectiveness mid way through the surgery , i woke up to an excruciating pain .
Pain doesn't deter me , it is the metaphor of life in one sense . It is the kind of pain, which matters . What followed post the frequent trips, was a soul numbing experience . Death should always be instantaneous , if it gives you time to think , you see a painful tangent of life . I experienced "friends" not answering calls , "loved ones" saying you deserved it , some were so encouraging that they left their daily lives to be with me .
I never need a shoulder to cry on , I am all made of a typical Punjabi leo ego, every cell of me. That said, when it breaks down, it shatters . I remember the entrance to apollo used to remind me of being wheeled out dead one day . The year also taught me , live life NOW , you never know when it may end , Don't carry useless relations as baggage.
Last two weeks, I travelled back in time, travelled back to chennai for my US Visa renewal after 10 years , same Consulate , same queue, same hope in people's eyes and it is such a touching experience to be in that queue. An old lady ahead of me , had all questions mugged up, where are you going and why ...in tamil script . I told her "Chill" you live in an amazing city and a great country , there is nothing that you should feel demeaned about . Chennai has so much hindi now but sadly is losing its true colour. Almost Everyone speaks English now , sadly I wish our kendriya Vidyalayas and Govt schools taught Tamil, Malayalam and bangla to kids in north and to ones in south , they should teach Gujarati and Punjabi . I feel sad , i expect them to speak Hindi where i can only manage "Naan" .... I craved for Murugan idli so took the hotel cab to Vasant nagar , the magic is still there , but sad to see even Hilton serve soggy idlis and no Pongal ...Anyway . Thanked the deities at Asht Mahalakshmi temple again for another year of life and another trip . Landed in Gurgaon , the early morning at bangla Sahib , followed by Sita Raam Diwan chand , Chola Bhaturas were divine . Delhi is a beloved , we will fight but she will remain my first love , always .
No trip to delhi is complete without meeting my parents , it was another philosophical experience this time .
I have been thinking of opening a cafe these days , Fursat Cafe , an absolute antidote to Starbucks and Costas, a terrace with floor cushions , low height seating ...just the ability to push your back to wall ...some books ....ability to play sitar , tabla , flute and santoor. Listen to your music on bluetooth, serve , old forgotten foods , roasted chanas, Paniyarams, pohas, pakoras when it is raining , missal pav , shrikhand, roasted sweet potato and Muruku. Soon , The packaged food will kill our traditional tastes. Indian teas served in a kettle , Coffees served a concoction. A place for people ton relish solitude . Infact the Cafe should read ...Fursat Cafe ..Relish Solitude ....
Life is dragging and its not that I am not batting, I am not batting with an intent to beat someone , or to do better than someone . I am batting to just see how the karma points get redeemed . I see karma as a mileage program , Good karma is imperative. I will stick to it .
I hope one day I don't turn atheist, seeing Karma is not being fair .
I am posting a video, a speech in the Movie "Up In the Air" and my favourite lines in recent past ...My life got "Kick" started ...Make no mistake ...Moving is living ....
मेरी हर हकीकत को ख़ाक समझने वाले , मैं तेरी नींद उड़ाने के लिए काफ़ी हूँ,
मेरे बच्चों मुझे दिल खोल के तुम ख़र्च करो, मैं अकेला ही कमाने के लिए काफी हूँ,
ज़माना साहिब ऐ ज़र और सिर्फ शायर मैं , मगर ज़माने को आग लगाने के लिए काफी हूँ
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