Absolut Man

Each post that I write is not necessarily to address my desire to write or to pour my thoughts in cyberspace, it is also an opportunity for me to "defragment"my thoughts and document some convictions, some sweet and not so sweet memories . Today's Post is about ä "Man" and Not Men. Singular Man and Not Plural Men. Plural Men are a crowd, Singular Man however is a unique persona, a person with its unique identity. What defines a Man? I was having a conversation with an old friend and the discussion took a Detour to a Person in particular. This person is a Male by gender . The Male in discussion with my friend is a typical Metro-sexual man , early 40s, a mid level executive in a large sized corporate House , fancies bikes and Cars, suites and wines, has posted enviable selfies, The person behind this Male however in real life is a compulsive liar, a wife beater and an irresponsible father . His web of lies get marketed well because of his gift of gab, but all Males are not Men. Such Men exist all around us and it is sickening to see that some people in our society even see them as a Benchmark . Today's Post is on Man and Men . 

This post  is about traits I feel define a Man. A Man is not necessarily influenced by "mean"behavior by Men. Here "Mean" has a mathematical connotation. We sometime learn to behave by seeing how others behave and this often becomes a situation where blind are leading the blind . My childhood influences were bedtime stories of pre-partition Punjab , my maternal and paternal Hometown Sahiwal (now in Pakistan ) , stories of strength of character displayed during partition. I was fortunate to have been exposed to two religions, Hinduism and Sikhism , the stories of Guru Gobind Singh and Lord Krishna on alternate Nights , the strength of character of "sahabzaadas". Mata Gujri's stories were often shared who was murdered along with her two younger sons, under the command of the Muslim ruler Aurangzeb for refusing to convert to Islam. Mata Gujri was ordered to lay on an ice block and her grandchildren were bricked alive. While the younger Sahibzadey were being bricked alive they were reciting the holy Japji Sahib . Satyajit ray once said , I didnt learn making films in a film school, I learnt making films by seeing life , same applies to being a Man . Good judgement comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgement.
So what makes an Absolut Man , there are no pre-defined benchmarks but today I will write down some traits, which I feel are important to be the Absolut Man.

Conscience : It is hard to define Conscience , but my own home grown  definition is that Conscience is the SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) of your life . I have always believed that one should keep an eye and who you meet and who you talk to , as your discussions become your thoughts, your thoughts become your conviction and your conviction become your decision . One small thing , which most people find strange about me is I never gamble or speculate on money, I don't want sudden gains who are someone else 's losses . I never go to casino or buy a lottery or even participate in a lucky draw , i refuse saying ...अकेला वारिस हूँ मैं इतनी बड़ी ज़ायदाद का , मेरे हिस्से में सिर्फ मेहनतें आई हैं। The point is your convictions rule your conscience . Whats right or wrong, whats moral and immoral are your own benchmarks. My same conviction applies to being vegetarian . I don't keep my thoughts cast in stone, If i am convinced on something better, I accept mistake and evolve my views . The other big hindrance to an ever evolving conscience is Knowledge. 

The more knowledgeable you are, the more egoistic you are . . . hence the ego of the scholars, pundits, maulvis. The.ego becomes decorated with great knowledge, scriptures, systems of thought. But the knowledge doesn't make you innocent; they don't bring you the childlike quality of openness, of trust, of love, of playfulness. Trust, love, playfulness, all disappear when you become very knowledgeable. 

And we are always taught to become knowledgeable. We are not taught to be innocent, we are not taught how to feel the wonder of existence. We are told the names of the flowers, but we are not taught how to love the sight of flower. We are told the names of the mountains, but we are not taught how to relish the sight of a sunrise .I don't set aside knowledge, I percolate wisdom out of knowledge and then drop knowledge . I let my self brewed wisdom drive my conviction and in turn my conscience. .

My fav lines on Conscience sum it all up ...

जागा हुआ ज़मीर वोह आईना है क़तील , सोने से पहले रोज़ जिसे देखता हूँ मैं.

and of course

मिट जाए गुनाहों का तस्सुवुर इस जहाँ से , हो जाए अगर यकीन के खुदा देख रहा है …

Humility : A lot of people ridicule ":Jagraatas" ( a night long song, music , supposedly devotional program ) but as a Kid when i was exposed extensively to Narendra Chanchal's jagraatas , I saw them as the rock party I could afford to go to . The singers often included small anecdotes and stories to drive a point in lessons of life . One such line was .... one enemy mankind cant beat is called " Main" means I . I as in the concept of Me , is the hallmark of self obsession and self centricity . India's economy picked up in 90s and since then it has been a huge race of proving, I am richer than you , more powerful than and meaner (as in mean ..like mean) . Everything has to be branded , top notch and most people dont shy away from pornographic display of wealth . Delhi had the other side too, Rich people being extremely Humble, I have seen the owner of Texla TV picking shoes at Sis Ganj Gurudwara. I have also seen Gulshan Kumar ( T Series owner) organizing queues at Jhandewalan temple in Navratas at the peak of his success in 1990s . Money , Power , Status are very momentary things , do they really define your journey ? I often say , "I" am not successful, my hard-work , my conviction and my destiny have worked together in a serendipitous Manner to get me this . Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. A few days a colleague of mine bought a very expensive watch and he asked me why i didn't wear an expensive watch . I said , Things dont give me happiness, things can give me comfort but happiness, provisioning things and comforts for others gives me happiness. 

Perseverance: One line describes it all , सूरा सो पहचानिये जो लड़े दीन के हेत, पुर्जा-पुर्जा कट मरे, कबहू ना छोड़े हेठ. This means the brave have one distinction, they may be chopped to pieces but they wont deter from lifting the needy. One more childhood story that always rhymed with me "Mehmud Ghaznavi"invaded India 16 times, lost and won the 17th time. We often go wrong in choosing friends, relationships, assignments , roles , deliverable, but keep trying and keep walking. lack of failure makes one an extremely inexperienced person . When I interview people, i often try to understand as how many times has this person failed and how many times has he or she been to put themselves together and walk . Keep walking ....

Equality : अवल अल्लाह नूर उपाया, कुदरत के सब बंदे, एक नूर से सब जग उपजा, कौन भले कौन मंदे. One of Guru Nanak Dev's key sayings, we are all creatures of the same power, no one is better than other . Gurudwaras are an exemplary benchmark of equality. Men and Women of any background, can pray , stay and contribute to Seva , you may be rich or poor , black or white , married or divorced, straight or gay , everyone is a "Sikh" a learner. The word "Sikh"has its origin from Sanskrit word "Shisya"which also means learner. A close friends of mine used to say , one doesn't have to be born a Sikh , he or she has to evolve as to be one. A Man shouldn't just believe in equality, must practice it also, at your workplace , in your conduct at home or holidaying , push for equality will erupt from within. My inspiration of being selfless is also largely a conviction embedded  within me from my early life  Influences of the  holy Sikh Scriptures .  One key one , that stays with me , दे  शिवा वर मोहे अहे , शुभ करमन तुं  कबहुँ न डरूं , न डरूँ अरसौं जब जाए लडूँ, निश्चय कर अपनी जीत करूँ. 

It is not hard to practice the tenets of Sikhism. There are only 3!

Vand Chako: Sharing with others. You don't go poor by sharing ....

Kirat Karo: Making an honest living. No job is menial, Work is Worship.

Naam Japo: Remembering God at all times, not when chips are down , always ...irrespective of good or bad time.

To all Men and Males who inspire to be Men, To all females , who know males but not Men !

Today's Ghazal ...

हर तरफ हर जगह बेशुमार आदमी। फिर भी तन्हाइयों का शिकार आदमी
सुबह से शाम तक बोझ ढोता हुआ, अपनी ही लाश का खुद मजार आदमी
हर तरफ भागते दौड़ते रास्ते, हर तरफ आदमी का शिकार आदमी
 रोज़ जीता हुआ रोज़ मरता हुआ, हर नए दिन नया इंतजार आदमी 
जि़न्दगी का मुकद्दर सफ़र दर सफ़र, आखिरी सांस तक बेक़रार आदमी



PS : This post has no connection whatsoever to the Vodka Brand , I have quit :)