Most of the words in the spoken Hindi today have their origin in many different languages like Persian, Turkish, Kurdish, Pashto, Arabic and of course Sanskrit to name a few. The word "Jaana" means beloved or loved one in Persian however is sometimes referred to be of "Finnish"" origin. as well. Usually a female name, it has a gender neutral connotation in spoken Urdu . The term "Jee" is a suffix for respect. My reference to this term is for loved ones in general. Hospitals in India have a standard operating procedure that in case of a life threatening major procedure , an authorisation form must be signed by a "Blood relative" and by the patient. Their reference to blood relation is as prescribed by law in India, Legally "Blood" relations are parents, siblings, cousins and children. Today's Post is about "Blood Relations" , the default stitch in these relationships with loved ones and the fragile fabric of life.
Someone pointed out to me a few years ago that the reason why I loved Idlis and turned vegetarian is because I had south Indian blood in me . Truth be told, although born Hindu, Kshatriya Punjabi, fact is that all of my blood is actually south Indian. At 24, CMC vellore saved my life after a 7 hour surgery , I received blood from the CMC vellore's blood bank during surgery. I sometimes wondered who donates blood at CMC Vellore, it is of course not segregated by Caste, Religion. Colour or social status. I often wonder how many combinations of blood is inside me . Iyer Blood, Iyenger Blood, Nair Blood, Christian Blood, Muslim Blood :) and whatever happened to the Butter chicken loving good old punjabi blood. Whatever blood I have, fact of life is that I have been blessed to have darshan at more Temples across India than a usual Punjabi. I proudly crave for a Idli Breakfast, Pongal and Appam every single day . I love the Gobhi Paranthas at Murthal as much or Baigan Bhartha at Kesar Da Dhaba but at the"Blood Level" I am a deeply amalgamated Indian. I recently watched "36 vayathinile" and whatever doubt I had that my blood is a work of national consensus is now gone :) I loved the movie btw.
If any one of us was to write down on a piece of paper a list of loved ones, you will inevitably have most "Blood Relations" and some relationships we acquired through the course of life, some in neighbourhood, some in school, colleges , workplace , friends of friends, friends of cousins etc. Some become so close that we raise them to the pedestal of Jaanajee. The truly loved ones . Just as Krishna and Sudama, Karna and Duryodhna, Krishna and Radha. In the Vaishnav traditions of Hinduism, that focusses on Krishna, Radha is Krishna's closest friend and adviser. Contrary to general perception , Radha is NOT krishna's wife, Rukmini is. For some of traditional temple goers, it shouldn't be a surprise that there are hardly any Krishna and Rukmini temples. All krishna temples are referred to as Radhakrishna temples. Radha is considered to be his original Shakti , the supreme goddess. One cannot imagine Krishna without Radha. If you go to Vrindavan, people dont say hellp or Namaste, they say Radhe Radhe. Some people believe that Radha was not a historical person. Whether she was a real person or not, is immaterial. What is important is the fact that the word Radha as a metaphor. Krishna and Radha are believed to be eternal lovers. If one finds a ‘made for each other couple’ one says ‘radha-krishna ki jodi hain bhai!’. People who actually make such comment are oblivious that the "Connect"" between Radha and Krishna was of divine selfless love and not based on judgement or legality. Like Rumi says,’What you seek is seeking you. Radha sought Krishna , his persona.
That's the beauty of depth of Hinduism, Radha was a fabulous woman. She didn't need a video like Deepika Padukone to announce her conviction as a woman . I have a deep admiration for Radha , the metaphor. People say Meera’s love was of greater significance because she could love the man even when he had passed away centuries before.With all due respect to Meera,I don’t agree with this.To love the image of a man is relatively easy.To love a living man-with all his dark and bright sides is quiet a rope walk.
Like every great love story,the Radha-Krishna relationship too ends with separation.Krishna is not for dead continuity. He is for lively changes. Perhaps Radha would have became aware of this in the middle of relationship-that the fragrant rose that has blossomed between them is not going to last for much time and it didn’t.They separated.Did she cry at that moment?I think she did. But her tears would not have been the tears of pain, rather tears of fulfilment.The man had showered so much on her that she would have felt nothing but contented.
Krishna never married Radha instead married Rukmini. Radha is remembered,adored and respected.And so she will be for centuries to come.
The ones we choose to love outside of our blood relations tend to have a deep connect with our soul. A intrinsic connect on emotions, intellect, values , conviction are the base of any such relationship . To make the connect thrive, we often invest emotions, time, thoughts very generously on this . Not always will Karna respect a duryodhan, Not always will a Sudama get affection and love in Krishna's palace. Not always will people respect the connect.
I don't have any social connect with my siblings and will never have so. People often ask me what happened . I have summed up all in a one line answer, " I don't connect with them " . Whatever Bloodconnect there was , seems to have failed . I have broken off with a few other people at a very sour note but in the end , it all boils down to this couplet.
ज़िन्दगी का ये हुनर भी , आजमाना चाहिए, जब जंग हो अपनों से, तो हार जाना चाहिए .......
For a long time, I kept thinking , what drives a person, who you would have treated with immense respect and deep affection to pronounce you a leech. Their conscience somehow allows them to do so. Some days back, I read a very apt quote. "If you put someone on a pedestal they have no choice but to look down on you". We make ourselves so much of a footstool that our loved ones, sometimes, find it absolutely right to step over us, trample us and move on .
Everyone lives by their conscience and Karma, We generally tend to do what is "Socially" right , it is easy to be a sheep in the crowd. Standing on your conviction, alone, is the greatest courage in existence. Very few people are able to get out of the mass psychology, of the collective mind. The collective mind gives a certain sense of false security. Naturally it gives you the idea that so many people—there are six billion people on the planet—they can't be wrong. It is very easy when a crowd surrounds you to feel warm and cosy.
I conclude now that Jim Morrison was right .....Love can not save you from your own destiny. So search for the loved ones, related by blood or otherwise , is like the Pursuit of a Mirage, rightly culminated .......now .
इंसान अच्छा-बुरा नहीं होता , या तो होता है .....या नहीं होता....
दोस्त तो सिर्फ़ दोस्त होता है, दोस्त खोटा खरा नहीं होता......
Lab-e-khamosh Se Izhar-e-tamanna Chahe, Baat Karne Ko Bhee Tasveer Ka Lehja Chahe
Lab e Khamosh is silent lips, Izahaar e tammana is expression of desire , Baat karne ko bhee tasveer ka lehza chahe means , even if one was to have a monologue with a picture , the picture has to be accepting enough to give the courage to express.
Tu Chale Saath To Aahat Bhee Na Aaye Apni, Darmiyan Bhee Na Ho Yun Tujhe Tanha Chahe
Even if you walk with me , the silence of oneness should be so immense that I shouldn’t feel my own presence .
Khwaab Mein Roye To Ehsaas Ho Sairaabi Ka, Ret Par Soye Magar Aankh Mein Dariya Chahe
Even if I cry in my dreams, I should feel the mirage , the hope . Sairaab is mirage . Even if I sleep on sand, I must dream of a river .
Aise Tairaaq Bhee Dekhe Hain ‘muzaffar’ Humne,Gharq Hone Ke Liye Bhee Jo Sahara Chahe
I have seen such swimmers , who need people around to even drown themselves. The connotation is when people make wrong decisions in life , they need people around them to justify this for them .
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