Half an Epitaph

Having lived a large part of my life, it is very fair to state that, I have sketched half an epitaph for myself. The picture of who I have evolved to be in the few phases of my life is devoid of any logical or emotional fog. Today's post is just two topics, which will find a way on my epitaph in some shape or form and my favourite song with its very soulful meaning , demystified ....Katiya Karun ... 

Finding Amaya : On more than a few occasions, people have asked me how can i possibly logically justify my persistent temple trips. Today is perhaps the best opportunity to explain where is the God I seek . Last year, I saw a movie called Listen Amaya on youTube,  it's about Farookh Sheikh and Deepti Naval , in love in their 50s and Deepti's daughter Amaya , who fails to understand the depth of their bond. While researching what "amaya" means , i stumbled upon a word called "Ameya" which means a name of Goddess Durga , which means " she is beyond Measure " and is Boundless . The concept of God is often seen as a Master Accountant who has the pedal control of your bliss and Pain . The master accountant is hence needed to be pampered and flattered . Well , Nothing could be further from truth, That is NOT GOD. To me God is an experience, which is invisible and yet so much in your face. Just like the signals in your mobile Phone, they are there , You cant see them. God is a Guide to better decisions and hence better Karma. He or She surely doesn't have a foot on the pedal of your happiness and sadness. Second, temples or Gurdwaras are an ego busting experience, all are equal, once who are rich , poor, sick, healthy, bosses, subordinates, everyone just bows. God is in every selfless act . God is Bringing bliss to others . God is in every mother , selflessly cooking stuffed paranthas to see the smile on her kids face. The God is in every sibling, ensuring younger one doesn't fall. God is in every father , ferrying his daughter to the examination hall,  waiting her to finish the exam and announce her success. God is in everyone sleeping outside the hospital wards taking care of their loved ones. God is in every-grandparent , waiting for their grand-kid to look back from school gate so that their incessant wait to see the spark in their eyes can pause . God is in everyone doing sewa at a Gurudwara ensuring the devotees come back to a clean place of worship . God is , of course,  in Karma . Man has forgotten who he truly is . He has become auto- hypnotized with Possession and self obsessed like a predator. He wants to possess his wife , his house, his children , his shop and doesn't stop there , he keeps tracking his possessions in comparison to others . Possession kills Possessor, eventually.  

A few months back, I went to the Guruvayur temple and as we were patiently waiting in the queue. noticed peoplele with different reasons , some just got married, some just had a kid, some just came after their parents demise, some before joining a new job and some just to pull them through a period of no Hope. Only one thing a  temple always teaches, all are seeking for themselves infinitely but  do we know  what we are  seeking for others . I often wonder how much good karma was earned by the person who invented the ultrasound Machine , the blood sugar measurement unit or  just a potato peeler . They of course didn't do it for own pleasure, the benefit is for everyone. You don't have to touch feet of 9 "Kanyas" during Navratras , you have to be fair , respectful and loving to "Most" humans who you come across . My Karma Credit is always what others good wishes gave me . I seek Just fair redemption of my Karma Credit . 

Ameya, The deity is with everyone who is making others happy , just like the signal strength on your cell phone . I see Ameyas everyday in my life . I embark on new journeys, every now and then,  temples are a means to keep my, ever breeding ego , at its lowest level. 

Although , as I said , God is not the CAG (Comptroller and Auditor General) ,yet his  accounting is near perfect . Karma Spares no one. 

Some Dohas from Nida Fazli just sum it up so well.

सपना झरना नींद का, जागी आँखें प्यास , पाना ...खोना ....खोजना साँसों का इतिहास .....

चाहे गीता बांछिये या पढ़िये क़ुरान, मेरा तेरा प्यार ही हर पुस्तक का ज्ञान....

सातों दिन भगवान के, क्या मंगल क्या पीर, जिस दिन सोए देर तक..... भूखा रहे फ़कीर .....

अच्छी संगत बैठकर, संगी बदले रूप, जैसे मिलकर आम से मीठी हो गई धूप.....

छोटा करके देखिये जीवन का विस्तार , आँखों भर आकाश है बाहों भर संसार......

The Universal Donor : In Hindi grammar there is a "Kartaa" (The doer) and the Kaarak (The beneficiary of the deed) . I have always segregated people based on this categorization . All the people i love and respect are in the Category of " Kartaa" and  they are Kartaa in a very selfless way . Sons caring for parents with unreasonable expectations, Married women , bending backwards to keep fragile marital peace by earning, cooking, serving for years . Single women deciding to stay single so that they continue to be "Dhana Kubera" for her parental house . Such people are rare and becoming even more rare as time progresses but I have realized " Selfless Giving is an Acquired Habit". Without exception, all these people find their happiness in Giving what they can . They will continue to drain till the last drop of their blood. 

If you can love without jealousy, without possession, without bondage and without an expectation to match the returns , you are blessed.

To love someone, whom you like is insignificant .
To love someone because they love you, is of little consequence , it's  a barter trade .
To love someone, whom you do not like is  a sign of intellectual depth .
To love someone , who blames you for no reason is divine , is the sign of a spiritually elevated soul . 

I strongly feel our prayers are wrong most often . The Prayer should not be just to seek something, the prayer is to seek the strength to be giver at all times , to seek the depth in finding happiness in the bringing smiles on others faces . The " Kartaas" steer the world . Similar to the Infosys slogan, "Powered by Conviction , driven by Values ". 

Such people however also have a very high "Escape Velocity" as well,  they find it impossible to leave the state of giving, just see a cow feeding her calves , at peace, she doesn't move , she is unfettered . Despite the fact that giving may be a slow suicide, they relish it. Just like a dog who chews on a dry bone, hoping for bone-marrow but in fact feeding on his own blood oozing out out his own bleeding gums.

For the "Kaarak"s , here is one couplet ...

तूने कीमत लगायी हर शै की , तेरे जैसा कोई गरीब ना हो 

फासला इस कदर नसीब ना हो , पास रह के भी तू करीब ना हो.... . 

All "Kartaas" become egoless over years.  Ego is the worst slavery, the only hell that I know of ....personally . being ego-less is stepping into divinity . 

Now the Now the music and poetry , the song , This song was heard by millions, I am sure not how many understood it . This is an adaptation of a Bulleh Shah's Kaafi in which the woman in love is describing the depth of the divine connect with her beloved . It is a rustic Monologue yet very profound in its description .

Kateya karoon , kateya karoon, Tera roon kateya karoon, Tera roon tera roon tera roon roon roon roon roooon, Saari raati kateya karun, Kateya karoon kateya karoon, Sari raati kateya karoon

Although Kateya means weaving cotton pods and the literal meaning is that I'll weave cotton pods all night . The real meaning is , just as weaving cotton pods is a maniacally focused , strenuous job, I think of my beloved with a similar devotion . Weaving is repetitive in nature and hence my thoughts about him are also repetitive . 

Saara din sochhan vich langhda.....Tere lai hun jiyun te marun.......

The entire day is spent in his thoughts ......I shall live & die for you

Eh tan mera charkha hove, Hove ulfat yaar di chittaa roon.....

Be a spinning wheel O My body and the love of my beloved be  as pure as white cotton pod ...

Nachdi phiroon tapdi phiroon, Keeli mai napdi phiroon, Hadh karoon, hadh karoon.....

Let me dance ,let me fly in bliss of love , Let me be in ecstasy, Crossing all boundaries & all barriers

Yaara bulle luteya karoon, Mainu darr hun naiyo jag da, Tere lai hun jiyun te maroon

O Bulleya (she is addressing Bulleh Shah) , let me loose all in love and Unfazed...fearless of the world, I shall live and die for you, 

Kataan Roon .....Mai saari raat kateya kateya karoon....

Here "Roo" means rooh ....which means  soul .....