I wrote 22 Blog posts this year . I started blogging in 2009 and so far I have managed 208 posts , so comparatively ,this year, I have written least number of posts. Despite that , I feel today's post is going be very different to the 208 , I have posted so far . This post has been humming in my head for over a month now . With this post, this Blog will cease to be . All things in life, including relationships have a "Best Before" and "Use By" date . The Time has come to move to new avenues of expression in 2016 . This blog has always been very close to my heart , yet "Maaziparasti (the love of past) is the enemy of Mustakil (future ) . Let bygones be bygones , a new me , an indefatigable Me , has to move on . I wish to thank three people who kept me going and always inspired me to write heartfelt posts. Ritika Puri , Nithya Kalyani and Farzana Versey, three exemplary women, very strong in their conviction, clarity of thoughts and above all , had the grit to express , what could have died and buried in bedside diaries . Thank You and take a Bow :) I also wish to thank , people who have read my blog regularly and emailed very generous praises and apt criticism . From Chennai to Chandigarh , From Washington to Wellington, its pleasing to see how a narration on human emotions connects distances .
Just Two Topics today . My concluding narration on the emptiness of Contemporary love , the never ending debate on "who is my God" and my take on both misunderstood and underrated topics, which in fact converge so seamlessly in my head . They are one . I only see a thin diminishing line between Love and Spirituality .
May Contain Nuts : A few who know me closely know that I am religious, some even think that I have strong fundamentalist views as well, some may be exposed to multiple dimensions of the spirituality that I have embraced . Today as this blog meets its dusk , I wish to share with you, the God I love . Yes , I didn't say the God I worship . I repeat, I am religious and there is a God I love. The God that I love , is not in a book, not in circumcision , rituals , baptism , pilgrimages or in Concrete Buildings . I have experienced this God . The God I love, showers love just the way a mother loves her child, unquestioned, unimpeded, unfettered and untrammelled Love .
God is a Concept Man made , even graduated him or her to a level of being a master accountant who keeps tracks of sins and all, Or a God , who is a facility Manager who runs hell or Heaven , probably even an escort service to Provide Virgins and all....One who controls , money. exams , life and death ...really ..No, I dont know one such God .
Did you ever think that God might best be imagined not by a noun but as a verb? This is something that has struck me in the last several years, and I have been fascinated by the discovery. While all the qualities of personhood are in God, rather than thinking about God as just some kind of “person” “up there” or “out there,” I’ve begun to think about God as a Movement, an Embrace, a Flow—moving through the cosmos and nature embracing wounded and suffering creation, flowing through the smallest subatomic particle as well as the most complex organisms. There is no place in this vast universe or in the hearts of women and men that God doesn't manifest itself in .
God is the "Avataar" who gave the selflessness to the Doctors of Christian medical College Vellore, who operated on me for 7 Hours to save my life . I wasnt a Christian. God manifested itself in form of the young woman who sacrificed a black bird around my Hospital bed with a shaving blade , to save my life . The God , which in blsitering sun, makes mangoes sweet . Its manifestation in the calming wind at the bank of a river (I call that a 5 Million star hotel, lets me see 5 Million stars while breathing in fresh air) . God is in nurses , teachers , mothers , fathers, soldiers , people who make the wheel of the world move . The divinity that makes mothers go through labour and produce thankless children . The divinity that makes people mop gurudwaras and cook awesome karah Prasad .
In 1994, just after my accident , I heard an album called Insight , sung by Jagjit and written by Nida Fazli. Some words need no context, Nida made me spiritual, CMC made me Human and the tamilian Blood transfused in me , made me more evolved.
बूढ़ा पीपल घाट का, बतियाए दिन-रात, जो भी गुज़रे पास से, सिर पे रख दे हाथ..
पंछी, मानव, फूल, जल, अलग-अलग आकार, माटी का घर एक ही, सारे रिश्तेदार.....
मिट्टी से मिट्टी मिले, खो के सभी निशान, किसमें कितना कौन है कैसे हो पहचान....
छोटा करके देखिये, जीवन का विस्तार, आँखों भर आकाश है, बाँहों भर संसार......
सब की पूजा एक सी, अलग अलग हर रीत, मस्ज़िद जाए मौलवी, कोयल गाए गीत...
पूजा-घर में मूर्ति, मीरा के संग श्याम, जिसकी जितनी चाकरी, उतने उसके दाम....
नदिया सींचे खेत को, तोता कुतरे आम, सूरज ठेकेदार सा, सबको बाँटे काम....
सातों दिन भगवान के, क्या मंगल क्या पीर , जिस दिन सोए देर तक, भूखा रहे फ़क़ीर....
अच्छी संगत बैठकर, संगी बदले रूप, जैसे मिलकर आम से, मीठी हो गयी धूप....
सपना झरना नींद का, जागी आँखें प्यास, पाना, खोना, खोजना, सांसो का इतिहास....
मैं रोया परदेस में, भीगा माँ का प्यार, दुःख ने दुःख से बात की, बिन चिट्ठी बिन तार...
ले के तन के नाप को, घूमे बस्ती गाँव, हर चादर के घेर से, बाहर निकले पाँव...
बच्चा बोला देख कर मस्जिद आलीशान , अल्लाह तेरे एक को इतना बड़ा मकान..
अंदर मूरत पर चढ़े , घी नारियल मिष्ठान , मंदिर के बाहर खड़ा .... ईश्वर मांगे दान...
चाहे गीता बाँचिये, या पढ़िये कुरान, मेरा तेरा प्यार ही, हर पुस्तक का ज्ञान.....
Make no Mistake , I go to temples, all kinds , to experience different things , to see Radha and Krishna Together (i have written in past about them , they are lovers and not husband and wife) . I go to Gurudwaras to seek the dedication to selflessness . I go to Churches , ( Infant Jesus Church in Bangalore ) specifically to feel the same divine motherly love that I feel in Chintpurni Temple.
I go to drop my daughter to school most days . At 0815 , there is a mad rush to reach school in bikes, cars , scooters , SUVs. Moms dads, Grand-dads , every one is running . There is the 30 second window of divinity that i experience each day , when my daughter looks back from inside the school gate and smiles .
God is making the world worth living and loving . I don't go a temple every day , I do experience God every day .
God and Love are a verb ....they keep life moving , they keep the stream flowing ....
Conditions Apply : The people I observe carefully around me are in all kinds of journeys , Circular Journeys , Linear Journey , Running and some even in a Lemon Spoon Race . They are pretend to be chasing the "state of Happiness " and the state of Happiness is somewhere away from them, married people chasing parenthood, singles chasing relationship , old people chasing youth and married people seeking divorce . This chase is causing Ulcers. An ambitious man is bound to have Ulcers , in the stomach and in the head . He is eating on himself , an ulcer is nothing but that . The chase seems so regimented because everyone is chasing . Ones not chasing seem so out of place . But Pause . They are seekers of a perceptive state. Seeking is however needing . If every is needing then who is Giving ? Do we offer love or do we just seek love . Think carefully . Its taken me years to conclude that we all are socially programmed to seek love , seek love from parents , siblings , teachers , friends , beloved , partner, children and even neighbours ....Really . Something is deeply flawed in this . If everyone is seeking love then who are we offering love to ? A friend noticed that all gadgets and accessories I buy, i eventually gift them . He asked me why ? I said, When somebody receives a gift, they take good care of it , as it's not just a material , its an emotion. He didnt quiet get my logic, most people wont . I have also been asked, why i still care for people who have concluded not to care about me . I wish to answer, I am not in this trade of giving and seeking . I wish to be affectionate enough to offer affection . We can not brand and monetize this love, whats become a give and take . An exchange of like to like . When you don't have love, you ask the other to give it you . You are a beggar and the other person is asking you to give it to them is also a beggar . Now there are two beggars , with their respective begging bowls in front of each other and both are hopelessly hoping that the other has it . Naturally both will feel defeated and deceited , eventually . One of the gifts i gave someone, ended up at a charity . I was asked the monetary value and i replied Zero. It was Zero. When we give and we count the material value then we kill the true emotion behind that love . When you love , keep the economics away .
I see a lot of artificial flavour and colour in contemporary relationships. Absence of Love is visible , is so easily visible, example Head can never be felt in a body, never known, only headache can be felt. Head is a part of natural body, headache is unnatural. When we do unnatural things , they show , they are the headache . You can't know that you love. You only know that you have become lovable. I often Joke that now a days people don't gift almonds or eat them , they just want to smell them in their soap or shampoo. Almonds are expensive . Its cheaper to smell them . That what we do these days . We don't make an effort to invest in Love , so we just create the "smell" of love . We create a leela , a smoke screen .
तोड़ दिया तस्बी को इस ख्याल से फ़राज़, क्या गिन गिन के नाम लेना उसका जो बेहिसाब देता है.
Ahmed Faraz , my favourite poet wrote . (Tasbi is the threaded beads , people use while chanting name of the lord)
Today's song proves that Good poetry and Good Music will always be there , don't miss the Sitar ...from Movie Piku .....amazing poetry , which seems like a summation of my travelogue .
किस लम्हें ने थामी ऊँगली मेरी, ....... फुसला के मुझको ले चला,
नंगे पाओं दौड़ी आँखें मेरी , ख्वाबों की सारी बस्तियां ,......
हर दूरियां हर फासले क़रीब हैं , इस उम्र की भी शख्सियत अजीब है। ......
झीनी झीनी इन साँसों से , पहचानी सी आवाज़ों में , गूंजे हैं आज आसमां , कैसे हम बेज़ुबां .....
इस जीने में। ..... कहीं हम भी थे , थे ज़्यादा या ज़रा कम ही थे ......
रुक के भी चल पड़े मगर ..रस्ते सब बेज़ुबान।
जीने की ये कैसी आदत लगी...... बेमतलब कर्ज़े चढ़ गए......
हादसों से बच के जाते कहाँ , सब रोते हँसते सह गए........
अब ग़लतियां जो मान ली तो ठीक है ........ कमज़ोरियों को मात दी तो ठीक है
झीनी झीनी इन साँसों से , पहचानी सी आवाज़ों में। ......
गूँजा है आज आसमां , कैसे हम बेज़ुबान। ......
Thank You again ....Thank You for reading and Loving ....
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