This week has been an engraving one too. First Nida fazli passed away on Monday 8th Feb , what would have been Jagjit Singh's 75th Birthday . Poets are in fact essentially philosophers who are able to percolate their thoughts into metered expressions with linguistic finesse . Nida Fazli was one of them . His Poetry played a key role in making me myself . Every 11th February , which also passed this week, reminds me of my reincarnation at CMC Vellore in February 1994 . So just two thoughts today , One Ghazal and some poetry by Nida Fazli , remembering him .....
Experience or Understanding : Middle of last week, I had an opportunity to explain the connotation of a few songs to some close friends , on my way back home, I realised , there is so much focus these days in "understanding" Logic , trends , the science of everything , but what about the "experience". People find ease in searching for "understanding" but not everyone wants to experience. Things I crave for are "experience" and not necessarily "understanding", like you can experience music. With India becoming a Knowledge based economy , Knowledge is taking precedence over experience . Two very different paths , in my view . I often wonder if current or next generation , will be able to distinctly remember the aroma , the earth emits after rains , the first rain after summer . That's an experience . We can understand weather patterns to all detail but that experience of drenching in rain is unparalleled . Understanding gives more solutions , very logical , repeatable solutions , experience is distinctly blissful and may add questions and not solutions, . You don't have to understand to experience . An example is an Sweet like Rasgulla, when you have it, its an experience however you need to understand Rasgullas to make them , cook them . Experience makes you transcend . Understanding isn't bad but understanding clouds your life to blissful things . People who understand musical gadgets too well sometimes are oblivious to some amazing music . There has to be a fair mix of both . Immerse in Experiences while you build understanding , focusing on just one , will be such a handicap. I also believe there cant be a discussion between rationalists and believers just for that reason. My divinity is my experience ......I don't have to understand God , I have to experience .....
वक़्त के साथ है मिट्टी का सफ़र सदियों तक , किसको मालूम कहाँ के हैं किधर के हम हैं
जिस्म से रूह तलक अपने कई आलम हैं , कभी धरती के , कभी चाँद नगर के हम हैं
Angels and Demons : Some of things I say candidly sometimes grab people's attention, some of the quotes i use also get circulation One of my favourite quote is "Everybody is a hero in the story of their life " . When each one of us is asked on the stories of their life , we will be the Hero , the protagonist and the angel . Everyone else can be either the villain, the antagonist or often the demon . Are the angels and demons so black and white , if every one in their self assessment is the Angel then where are the demons ? . Are angels born ? do they evolve to be or they are just born , who are they ? On the night of Feb 10th 1994 , I left Bangalore in a Sharma Transport Bus for Madras after missing my train . I missed my train because , me and my other two friends were enjoying White Rum and Limca at Hi Spirits Pub at Brigade Road . The ill fated bus had a head on collision with a DCM Toyota Truck near Chittor at around 3: 20 am . It was Feb 11th 1994 , the day had started differently . Some angels pulled me out from where i was , stuck between bonnet and wheels between dead bodies , severed head , blood and kiosk. They laid me down on side of road , not sure if I would live long . The other person pulled along-with me sipped water while lying on road, next to me and passed away . Another few angels , hailed a bus , shipped me on the bus. I wasn't sure where i was and where I was going . I was made to lie in one seat but my breath had become very difficult by then . I walked into CMC vellore (The Real Angels) and shortly thereafter, was wheeled into OT . I could count 16 doctors around me at around 7 am , i cud see day light emerging . I woke up a few days later , a 8 hour surgery, to fix a ruptured spleen , cut ribs , Fractured collar bone and fractured jaw . Some angels looked in my eye, smilingly, when the only thing i could move were my eye lids , sponged me , cleaned my teeth using a piece of cotton stuck in scissors . When I was discharged from Hospital and was staying in a lodge in Vellore, the same nursing staff would and spend time with me on their only day off in a month . Humans can become angels if they decide that my reason of existence is not to derive pleasure out of everything for themselves but to lead a life , which is able to add hope and value to other people their lives . Post my surgery, in last 22 years , I have met many more angels and even more demons as well . People who would want to pull you down, belittle you , discourage you and win all battles with you but disguised as angels . I just remind myself of stories of Mahabharata, the reason why there are too many characters, just to make sure if we understand the kind of personalities there are in society . People forget that the Battle happened due to Dushshaasan , who was killed on Day one of the Mahabharata Battle . CMC Vellore gave me a new life without asking if I was Hindu or Christian, Rich or poor . People often argue with me that being an angel is an option but being being a devil is needed for survival . I don't agree with this ....Being an angel even in the most primitive form is our imperative as humans . People will use you , people you walk over your emotions . I am also often told that I become the doormat for all loved ones , There is a culture here in India where by choice, people name themselves as slaves. You know Tulsidas, Krishnadas, or any other kind of “das”? They openly say, “I’m a slave.” They are not afraid of being used as a doormat. They want to be a doormat. This kind of love is for ultimate union and not just for domestic purposes. If you are looking for ultimate union, love is a different affair. If you are looking for a way to conduct domestic affairs, then you must manage with dignity “who gets what.” If anyone uses more than they should, then it is “If you don’t give me this, I don’t give you that.” That’s a social thing. Otherwise, if you’re looking for ultimate union, you should not think of all this. Or in other words, if love crosses a certain level, and even if you just fall in love, you become vulnerable to someone. Without becoming vulnerable, there is no love affair. You have to fall. When you fall, someone may raise you or walk over you. I know i am a small minority , based on my conviction, however the battle is tough against the devils ...always . Two roads diverged in a wood, and I I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference.
So Keep Walking.... but leave a mark , an indelible mark .
My Favourite Nida Fazli Ghazal ......
हर तरफ़ हर जगह बेशुमार आदमी , फिर भी तनहाईयों का शिकार आदमी
सुबह से शाम तक बोझ ढोता हुआ , अपनी ही लाश का ख़ुद मज़ार आदमी
हर तरफ़ भागते दौडते रास्ते, हर तरफ़ आदमी का शिकार आदमी
रोज़ जीता हुआ रोज़ मरता हुआ, हर नए दिन नया इंतज़ार आदमी
ज़िन्दगी का मुक़द्दर सफ़र दर सफ़र, आख़िरी साँस तक बेक़रार आदमी
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