Some thoughts have such natural brutal force that they keep pricking me to get to the keyboard and collate them. Today's blog post is one of them. I have an instinctive inkling that this post will possibly become my favorite one. So today, a little departure from usual, A story, An Incident and a Song (not a Ghazal). The story first. I am not sure when I read this but in the early 90s, I was hooked to Osho Books sold at railway stations and they would always be good reading, under the yellow low wattage bulb on the top tier of a unreserved 2nd class coach. This story was in one of those books. The incident that I will share today happened 16 years back and the song is possibly one with most heartwarming lyrics, yet not heard as much.
Once upon a time, there was a king, who was fond of birds, all kinds but more about wild sparrows, the simple house "chidiya" and he had most of them in small cages in the corner of his palace. One sparrow that he loved most however used to cry often and would call for freedom while crying. The king was disturbed by this constant howling of this little sparrow he so loved. To solve this, he called for all wise men, but none could bring solace to the "chidiya." Finally, a saint was called in, he said, free up the chidiya from the cage. The king was shocked, thinking the chidiya will fly away. The saint, however, was sure that after attempts to find a way, the chidiya will come back to the cage. The chidiya was freed up, she flew away and touched every wall in the castle and as expected in a few hours, came back to her cage to rest. The king was surprised. He asked the saint as to how he was so sure that the chidiya will not fly away. The saint replied everyone lives in a cage, some in small and some in big, she hasn't been freed, she has just moved from a small cage to a big cage, the big cage being the castle. From that day onwards, I have always believed that we are also all in the same situation. We are all caged and the cages are different. While we keep chanting freedom, what we really aspire for is moving from one cage to another. An iron one to a gold one, a One BHK one to a 3 BHK one, one in Bangalore to one in Singapore, from a rupee cage to a dollar cage, from a sedan cage to an SUV cage. They are all cages. Some cages I often think about .....
Cage of Guilt: In all the mythology that I have read, I have realized that the only two moving goal posts in mankind's narrative are values and guilt. Guilt is a subset of convictions. If we think we have done is great, it serves us pride and if we are convinced what we have done is "wrong", it leads to guilt. Wrong doing may impact different people differently, just like a butcher may see killing animals as his everyday worship, he does kill to feed himself and his family. I had an experience with this "guilt cage" in the year 2002. One summer morning, I left my place in Mayur Vihar for an interview in Gurgaon and as usual, asked my wife for cash before leaving. I realized near Dhaula Kuan that I am out of petrol in my Maruti 800 and stopped at the Indian Oil gas station. As a habit, I used to hand over cash to the gas station attendant before filling. I asked for 500 Rs of Petrol and the gas station attendant, Kanhaiya Lal, filled it. While I was leaving, he asked for money the 500 Rs, I insisted that gave him 500 rs note before filling, which I usually kept in my shirt pocket. He insisted I didn't pay. This led to an argument and one thing led to another, I slapped him. I must say, in my defense, that I am very very rarely violent (3 times in my life precisely ). I did end up with slapping Kanhaiya Lal. The matter got resolved by the pump staffing just letting me go with my insistence that I had paid. In the evening, I reached home and told my wife about this incident. She looked at me with a blank look and told me that I never took the cash this morning. I was stunned. In a split second, I had sunk in deep guilt. I slapped someone who was right. Just because I was more powerful and I got away with forceful diction, doesn't take the deep guilt away. I couldn't sleep that night. That night, I realized the cage of guilt. Next morning I reached the gas station even before Kanhaiya had come to work. I apologized to him, hugged him, gave him gifts but the blank look in his eyes told me that it didn't reverse much in his day. Till date, I regret that fit of overconfidence,, anger and arrogance. Years later, when someone inflicted violence on me, I didn't respond at all and left that person with some guilt or at least I assumed it did cause guilt. As mankind evolved, one of the big failures its inability to get rid of the cage of guilt. How does one do that is the question, I haven't really answered for myself. One of the possible ways could be the acceptance that behaviors lead to events and nothing happens, one should evolve and that's the only possible recourse.
Cage of Guilt: In all the mythology that I have read, I have realized that the only two moving goal posts in mankind's narrative are values and guilt. Guilt is a subset of convictions. If we think we have done is great, it serves us pride and if we are convinced what we have done is "wrong", it leads to guilt. Wrong doing may impact different people differently, just like a butcher may see killing animals as his everyday worship, he does kill to feed himself and his family. I had an experience with this "guilt cage" in the year 2002. One summer morning, I left my place in Mayur Vihar for an interview in Gurgaon and as usual, asked my wife for cash before leaving. I realized near Dhaula Kuan that I am out of petrol in my Maruti 800 and stopped at the Indian Oil gas station. As a habit, I used to hand over cash to the gas station attendant before filling. I asked for 500 Rs of Petrol and the gas station attendant, Kanhaiya Lal, filled it. While I was leaving, he asked for money the 500 Rs, I insisted that gave him 500 rs note before filling, which I usually kept in my shirt pocket. He insisted I didn't pay. This led to an argument and one thing led to another, I slapped him. I must say, in my defense, that I am very very rarely violent (3 times in my life precisely ). I did end up with slapping Kanhaiya Lal. The matter got resolved by the pump staffing just letting me go with my insistence that I had paid. In the evening, I reached home and told my wife about this incident. She looked at me with a blank look and told me that I never took the cash this morning. I was stunned. In a split second, I had sunk in deep guilt. I slapped someone who was right. Just because I was more powerful and I got away with forceful diction, doesn't take the deep guilt away. I couldn't sleep that night. That night, I realized the cage of guilt. Next morning I reached the gas station even before Kanhaiya had come to work. I apologized to him, hugged him, gave him gifts but the blank look in his eyes told me that it didn't reverse much in his day. Till date, I regret that fit of overconfidence,, anger and arrogance. Years later, when someone inflicted violence on me, I didn't respond at all and left that person with some guilt or at least I assumed it did cause guilt. As mankind evolved, one of the big failures its inability to get rid of the cage of guilt. How does one do that is the question, I haven't really answered for myself. One of the possible ways could be the acceptance that behaviors lead to events and nothing happens, one should evolve and that's the only possible recourse.
A few lines by Dr. Satinder Sartaj.
Sab Tun mehngi hondi hai masoomiyat , sohne taan unj log bathaire honde ne .......
Jinah nu takeyi taan takde reh jaaiye , duniya vich khaas hee chehre honde ne ........
The most expensive and beautiful thing in the world is innocence, although there are so many pretty faces. There are very rare faces that captivate your soul ...
Shohrat , Izzat , Ilm, ameeri , Taaqataan , ae kam rabb de hor wazir vee kar dende ......
jinha de chehre vich kheech jehi hondi hai , o taan rab ne aap banaye honde ne .......
Fame, respect, Knowledge, Power, and Money, that God can bless anyone with however very people whose face has a divine pull are ones whose faces have been engraved by almighty himself ...
iss tun zyaada hor dasso kee ho sakda hai , kudrat ne vee taar vee unhaan naal jode ne ,
O jo hon udaas te hanere ho jaande , halka jeha muskaam savere honde ne .....
What can be a bigger blessing than this, that divinity has tied a chord with my beloved?
When they are sad, it turns dark and gloomy and when they smile, the dawn breaks ...
Cage of Dreams: We all sketch our dreams based on what we see around us, if your childhood is caged in music, literature, ancient wisdom and spirituality, you are likely to evolve in that cage. I recently visited Chandigarh, and there are three key conversations in that town in my view ...Cars, Canada and Chicken. That 3C is Chandigarh for me now. I see the contrast in cages. Hardly a hundred kilometers away, people in HP want a Govt job in state or be employed with Armed Forces. The standard purchase in cars in HP is a White Maruti Alto. Sunday Morning you could see a lot of people walking to Satsang Beas or Gurudwaras and In different cities the Sunday Morning pursuit is different but how do we choose our pursuit , I think we all choose a cage of desire, a cage of fame, material or some people just the freedom to create more moments with depth . Dreams lead to crimes, dreams lead to the enterprise but dreams themselves are a cage, albeit the size of the cage can be as big as the castle. Aren't we a slave of our dreams, locked in that cage. Jan Nisar Akhtar on Dreams ...
देखूं तेरे हाथों को तो लगता है तेरे हाथ, मन्दिर में फ़कत दीप जलाने के लिये हैं......
Cage of Prejudice: Another story, I must have heard it in a Gurdwara Sahib, in the Gurbani Paath many years ago. It's a story of a white Goose and a Frog. The goose travels through seas and countries and stops by the side of a pond next to a village. In the pond, lives a Frog. The frog and the goose become friends. So one day, the Frog asks the goose, tell me how big is the world? The goose in his transoceanic journies tries to depict the size of the world he knows to the Frog. Blissfully unaware of the size of the oceans, the Frog listens to the goose's narrative carefully. He isn't aware of the unit of distance so he asks the goose in simpler terms. So tell me how many times the size of this pond is the ocean, 2 times, 5 times or 100 times. The goose insists he can't depict the size. The Frog concludes the matter by stating that the goose is lying. We see everything from the window of our cage. Sometimes we are the Frog and sometimes we are the goose but we are all caged in our perspectives and prejudice.
This month, I broke free of a few cages of the past .....
Now the song, Statutory Warning, It grows on you and can take over the loop function.
Khud nu main Khuda da, Bana ke vekheya.. Na chaunde vi hora nu...Chaah ke vekheya
I tried giving in to the divine contemplation and even tried to love other people, despite being unconvinced.
Har saah de naal badi koshish te keeti main, Ke fer jhuthaa naa pai jaavan apni gal ton
With every breath, I tried to stick to my resolve so that I am not proved a person of weak commitment.
Ajj ik saal hor, Ho gaya eh kainde mainu, Ke main tainu yaaran bhul jaana kal ton
Today, another year has passed, with me telling myself that I will forget you starting tomorrow.
Aisa na mileya sheesha hun tak mainu, Pichhe khadeya paaya hasda na tainu
I am yet to find a mirror, wherein I haven't seen you standing beside me, smiling .....
Tere jism di khasboo, Kari fikar tu ro ro.. Yaad har ik cheez eh oh Tu larh ke jo layi kho
The fragrance of you, your care, your tears, I remember everything that you fought and lost ...
Ajj vi haan osse raah te jaake roh payi de, Millan tu aaya lukk-lukk jede raah wal ton
Even today I cross the same paths and get nostalgic, the ones you took to come and meet me ...
Kaisa waqt si maada, Kaisa oh din si, Main machhli mere paaniya, Tere bin si..
What an unfortunate phase it was, I was like fish without water ...
Tainu rok na paaya, Main tainu rokna chahya, Ik wari tu gaya, Mudke na aaya...
I couldn't stop you, I wanted to stop you, once you were gone, you were gone ...
Jehre pal chhad geyo gall laake Jaani nu..Laggda ae dar yaaraan mainu hun uss pal ton
The moment that you hugged me and left, hounds me every moment now ...
Ajj ik saal hor, Ho gaya eh kainde mainu, Ke main tainu yaaran bhul jaana kal ton .....
From Tomorrow ...Yes !!!
I tried giving in to the divine contemplation and even tried to love other people, despite being unconvinced.
Har saah de naal badi koshish te keeti main, Ke fer jhuthaa naa pai jaavan apni gal ton
With every breath, I tried to stick to my resolve so that I am not proved a person of weak commitment.
Ajj ik saal hor, Ho gaya eh kainde mainu, Ke main tainu yaaran bhul jaana kal ton
Today, another year has passed, with me telling myself that I will forget you starting tomorrow.
Aisa na mileya sheesha hun tak mainu, Pichhe khadeya paaya hasda na tainu
I am yet to find a mirror, wherein I haven't seen you standing beside me, smiling .....
Tere jism di khasboo, Kari fikar tu ro ro.. Yaad har ik cheez eh oh Tu larh ke jo layi kho
The fragrance of you, your care, your tears, I remember everything that you fought and lost ...
Ajj vi haan osse raah te jaake roh payi de, Millan tu aaya lukk-lukk jede raah wal ton
Even today I cross the same paths and get nostalgic, the ones you took to come and meet me ...
Kaisa waqt si maada, Kaisa oh din si, Main machhli mere paaniya, Tere bin si..
What an unfortunate phase it was, I was like fish without water ...
Tainu rok na paaya, Main tainu rokna chahya, Ik wari tu gaya, Mudke na aaya...
I couldn't stop you, I wanted to stop you, once you were gone, you were gone ...
Jehre pal chhad geyo gall laake Jaani nu..Laggda ae dar yaaraan mainu hun uss pal ton
The moment that you hugged me and left, hounds me every moment now ...
Ajj ik saal hor, Ho gaya eh kainde mainu, Ke main tainu yaaran bhul jaana kal ton .....
From Tomorrow ...Yes !!!
Awesome
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