I didn't know that I might get pulled back to writing. The last post I made was in April this year, declaring I am too blank, emotionally and intellectually to ever write again. I was feeling still, empty, and blank at my soul level. The last 20 months have been nothing less than 'emotionally nerve-wracking" for almost everyone across the world. Never did the world know that one virus could kill or make sick, rich or poor, strong and weak, white or black totally alike. Humans are very fragile yet resilient however serendipitously in charge of the affairs of this planet. I have seen many fall sick and some even left the world suddenly during the last 20 months. Overall, Most physical sufferings are symptomatic but emotional sufferings are asymptomatic, people are realizing how fragile our existence is, how weak we are in our composition, and how inconsequential most of our pursuits are. Anyway, Today's blog is about some scattered yellow sticky notes that are now finding their way back to my blog.
ना तीन में हूँ ना तेरा में , ना हिरणो में हूँ ना शेरों में
ज़िन्दगी दरम्याना रास्ता है ,ना कायरों में ना दलेरों में
As usual, some anecdotes, some soul talk, some poetry, and music.
We can see our physical reflection in a mirror but do we have a mirror to see our emotional self. This year, more than ever, egos need a mirror. Mirrors reflect just a little, sadly one never sees what is in front of them. We see what we WANT to see. When people go in front of the TajMahal, they see the monument of love, what love? It is a place where a corpse was buried, I didn't see architecture, I saw ego. At that time, was he the only man in love, answer is NO, the only man who wanted to express love, NO. He is the only man whose ego in Love was monumental and he had the means to express his ego. I realized this very early in life, though not in these clear terms that only one thing killed Love, it is EGO.
One thing which is the biggest hurdle between you and your higher self is EGO.
The other day in the clubhouse room, I had mentioned, how you define maturity. Maturity is the journey from being selfish and selfless. A day-old child has basic feelings and emotions, it just wants to survive but parents are happy to see the child in their hands, simply because they have given birth to a Desire to be desired. The child will desire them. When we die, we all fit in an urn and our desires and pursuits fit that in the urn too. Maturity is to be born selfish and die selflessly. If you see a man or a woman, don't judge their maturity by their age, judge it by their level of selflessness. Maturity is when you realize that this life is an incognito journey, write a good travelogue, travel frugally and realize that you are not the wheel, you are an inconsequential cog in the wheel.
I used to travel in Shan e Punjab express very often, at Panipat, an old Sikh Blind man along with a child would board the train, in clean pathani suit and used to sing a Sufi composition...Tote de Beri Pinjara ...Bande da Beri kaal (The cage is killer for Parrot and Time is killer of Man) ....Roz o jode ahem nu ....nit puje is wehm nu ...(every day he adds to his ego and worships this fallacy ). Do people want big houses, they want to serve big egos. Do people need kids, they want to leave a mark behind when they are dead, do people need to be famous, they need to feed their ego to justify their existence in this crowd.
There are two desires that our religious and social leaders have exploited in humans very well, the Desire to be desired and the Desire to be distinguished.
I have failed in love often, and every time I have looked back at my inability to offer an ""ego-less"" me, I had gaps. I was not able to kill my desire to be desired and be distinguished. Why in love do we need to be desired back.
I find insights from a Pakistani Poet Yasra Rizvi very relatable, love is a phenomenon that we first build in our head and then we give this shape. We build dreams of a monumental ego and then chase them.
Second, on the desire to be distinguished. While we know we are all a part of the indistinguishable crowd, we have a strange behavior to be both a part of the crowd and yet look better. we want to look better than the crowd, eat better, live better but behave like the crowd. Do we need a crowd for celebrations and loud events (5-day marriage function etc) are the pornographic displays of ego? We marry because that's the crowd's way of ensuring that you barter security and exclusiveness with physical and emotional intimacy. While we all introduce ourselves by saying how "distinguished" we are, the fact is we are a scared sparrow in the crowd. Why do I have this desire to be distinguished.....why look the same or different?
Going back to my point on the purpose of life, the only thing I learned is that life has two cycles as the illusion of life. One is Production and Consumption. Produce money and Consume money till the last breath ...second is the Cycle of Desire to be desired and Distinguished.
Ego and Wealth are first cousins.
Money acts like dopamine; it triggers a feel feel-Gooding, simply because it wipes off the feeling of insecurity temporarily. The same feeling touches you when you enter a temple, faith secures you temporarily. Strange all symbols of faith are first to remove when you die, lockets, rings, watches. No matter what color you wear, what designer you prefer, all will be draped in white, no prints, no quality, no-stitch, just white. Black and White are my favorite colors it is the ultimate color. This year I reduced my color, range of colors, Show your color, maybe that will prove a point.
Imagine life without these two cycles, cycles of production and consumption.
The first step to a spiritual journey is deep and constant introspection within, the silent argumentative, self-critical monologue within. Asking the questions to stimulate critical thinking and to draw out ideas and underlying presuppositions. , Socrates once said, I know one thing that I know nothing, I read a Punjabi verse the other day.
Jiven Padta Jaavan Dher mein , Menu disda Jaave Haner Ve !
It means, The more I read and introspect, the more darkness I encounter. I often feel that success has destroyed more people than failures. Success takes away the ability to pause and introspect. Yesterday I deleted all my social media accounts, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, I am convinced that our connections with the universe are by redefining existing concepts and relationships and making it clearer to ourselves. The noise on social media makes you compare, which lets you not hear the sounds around you. I realize, most people play music, hear the sounds but don't listen to the sounds and the poetry together. Spirituality is about letting the silence talk. There is a "Soul Family" somewhere, the people that we connect with at a soul level, not by blood or social arrangements but at a soul level, find the soul family. I am often also worried about the business of life.
Life is a business, and the Doctors, Nutraceuticals, and pharmaceuticals companies are aggressively driving, Death is a Business, war and war equipment is needed to build the fear and they are pushing it well but in between Happiness is not a business, it's not anyone's job to make you happy. It's your own pursuit. The debate within was to build more silence (hence abstinence from social media), build a soul family, and keep walking.
इबादत और मोहब्बत में खामोश रहना,वोह सब सुन रहा है जो हम बोलते है !
जो गुरूर में है वोह "हम "बोलते है , ज़िन्दगी में सिर्फ इंसान के कर्म बोलते हैं
Today's ghazal is another rare find. The poet is Suroor Barabankvi and this rendition is by Zeeshan Ali.
To Kya Ye Tay Hai Ke Ab tujhe Umr Bhar Nahin Milna....
To Phir Yeh Umar Bhi Kyon Tum Se Gar Nahin Milna ...
Chalo Zamaane Ki Khaatir Yeh Jabr Bhi Seh Lain....
Ke Ab Kabhi Jo Mile Toot Kar Nahin Milna...
Rah-E-Wafa Ke Musaafir Ko Kaun Samjhaye,
Ke Is Safar Mein Koi Hum-safar Nahin Milna...
Juda To Jab Bhi Huay Dil Ko Yoon Laga Jaise,
Ke Ab Gaye To Kabhi Laut Kar Nahin Milna......
Till next time ....
Brilliant sir.👌👌👌👌👌
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